Tired

5.10.24

The days are long and the years are short

Everyone who has been here has some words of wisdom

Some knowing look, pat on the arm, extra gray hairs

This tired is one that is not readily spoken of

It’s a kind that shows itself before you even are aware of the reason for it

And never ends

Its not spoken of because to do so brings the guilt that accompanies the title

It may be viewed as a complaint

Rather than an acknowledgement of the heaviness of this designation

We know that there are those who long to be our kind of tired

To have the exhaustion from meeting the physical needs but also the emotional and spiritual

The fatigue of the mental load of scheduling task to task, career, clean, entertain, create memories,

Be fun and spontaneous

Have hard conversations

Set them up for success while watching them fail too

Teach life lessons

To them, for them, but for the benefit of everyone else as well

Attempting unconditional love…

While the overwhelming and immense joy that all of this brings

Also introduces guilt that we collectively share to varying degrees

The feeling of never being enough, focusing on the misses, the harsh words

The anxiety of unintentionally leaving long last emotional wounds

All while trying to shape and mold strong character, instill integrity, and confidence

Ensuring that they are able and capable to ultimately leave you

Hoping they will someday one day understand how marrow deep you love them

When at the end of the day

It’s ok to say you’re tired

Tired as a Mother.